We need to stop worshiping obnoxious male chefs — food isn’t an ego trip

The UK is home to more than 250,000 chefs, but only 18.5% are women. And those women don’t have it easy.

In February, 70 female chefs came together to speak out about the sexism and inequality they’ve faced while working in professional kitchens.

Deciding enough was enough, the women penned an open letter in response to comments Jason Atherton made in an interview with The Times, claiming women ‘didn’t really’ experience sexism in restaurants any more, as he’d ‘not seen it’.

Asma Khan, the founder of Darjeeling Express in London, knows only too well the struggles that women face daily in kitchens, having been told repeatedly that she and her all-female team would never make it in the industry without a man’s help.

But the 55-year-old from Kolkata, India, has defied all expectations to open a thriving restaurant business that’s been featured in the Michelin Guide and Good Food Guide. She’s also been named one of TIME’s 100 most influential people of 2024, and even seems to have earned the approval of the royal family, with King Charles and Queen Camilla recently visiting her restaurant.

Her secret for success in such a male-dominated industry? Knowing that everything she does is not just for herself, but the women who will come after her.

‘The job often feels like a combat sport’

‘The isolation of women in kitchens is a big problem and we’re not talking enough about it,’ she tells Metro. ‘You don’t find that many women in restaurant kitchens, they’re often pastry chefs, receptionists or front of house, so it can be really isolating to be the only woman working in a very close, tense space surrounded by a lot of macho energy.

‘The job often feels like a combat sport – like Mortal Kombat – you’re working crazy, long hours and there’s a lot of testosterone, bravado and shouting during service.

Asma believes women can ‘be the change’ that the industry so desperately needs – if they’re brave enough to speak up.

‘If you come into a kitchen, you need to understand that you have a seat at the table and this is your opportunity to help change the culture so that next time they recruit a woman, she’s not even going to see the problems you solve.’

She knows she sounds very idealistic, but Asma claims she’s living proof that every barrier can be broken down.

‘I’m here because I believed in myself and would not allow anyone to tell me what to do. It’s not easy, but imagine you are doing this for the females who will come after you.

‘A lot of women have kept quiet for years out of fear it will damage their career, but are now speaking out in groups because there’s security in numbers.

‘I’m not afraid, I think we should all raise the issues, talk about them and go public. People will still hire you, because they’ll know you’ve got integrity.’

‘Don’t ever leave quietly’

The chef has heard many women say they want to give up on their dreams of cooking due to toxic work environments, and for those feeling this way she has some sage advice.

‘If it is unbearable, you should leave and go somewhere else, but do not leave the industry,’ she urges.

‘And don’t ever just leave quietly – shake things up. If you don’t say anything, no one will know that it’s a toxic place to work, so you need to do it for the next girl who may want to come in there.’

She continues: ‘If food is your passion and you want to be a chef, you absolutely have the right to grow and be a head chef or the owner of a restaurant, but you can’t abandon the race.

‘Difficulties might come along the way, and the situation for female chefs is particularly challenging because there isn’t solidarity yet in the industry, it’s very disparate. But within your restaurant spaces, you can build a group of women who will stand by each other and applaud each other and this will give you the fuel to fight when women are harassed or humiliated.’

A different kind of kitchen

This is exactly the kind of safe space Asma has created at Darjeeling Express, where employees are able to take time off for painful periods, and late tables are refused to ensure women can get home safely at a decent hour.

While the front of house staff is a mix of men and women, the restaurant’s kitchen team is unique in that it is all-female, run by immigrant housewives – most of whom are in their 50s.

Not a single one of them (Asma included) have any professional culinary training or qualifications. They all learned to cook at home.

‘When I opened the restaurant, a lot of people in hospitality industry told me I needed professional men in the kitchen and not home cooks or I was going to fail. They didn’t realise these incredible women were an amazing resource,’ Asma explains.

‘In every society in India, weddings are a big deal, everyone chips in to make the food, plus we have traditions of cooking in temples and gurdwaras, so all of these women had some experience cooking for large numbers of people.

‘They might never have worked in a restaurant but they made the transition so easily and there was a joy in learning from each other. They would watch me and my mother cooking and could replicate the dishes so incredibly using their senses, so that when the curry leaves were crackling, the mustard seed popping and the onions frying in ghee, they’d know when it was ready not by looking at the colour, but by the aroma.

‘It’s very, very different from every other kind of restaurant, but this experience made them perfect for my kitchen.’

The food at Darjeeling Express isn’t the cheapest, but Asma says this is because the women put so much love and patience into each and every dish.

‘Cooking is not a duty or a job for us, it is liberation. In my part of the world, it is a woman cooking in every home, but in every paid kitchen it is a man. No one will pay us, they want our food for free.

‘So we stand for the women who are in their graves, the mothers and grandmothers who were never celebrated. In their name we cook every day. We are glorifying every woman who has been marginalised in hospitality. This drives us, as we know this is about more than us, it is about all of us.’

Food shouldn’t be an ego trip

In this way, Darjeeling Express has been a real ‘political project’ for Asma.

Growing up she always knew she wanted to do something that would make a difference to women, and initially she was going to do this as a lawyer. However, while obtaining her PhD, she realised instead that she wanted to cook.

She planned to use her knowledge of how to present a case to talk about food in terms of justice, politics and women. She also wanted to show people that food is a language of love.

‘So much of the media has worshipped at the altar of very obnoxious male chefs – they’ve become like rock stars with an abusive attitude towards women and everyone loves them for it, how is this even possible?

‘I decided I was going to talk about food in terms of kindness and empathy. Food should not be an ego trip, it should not be about showing off and being aggressive. It’s not cool and it’s not acceptable to treat your colleagues this way and someone has to say it.’

Asma and the team at Darjeeling Express will soon have the opportunity to spread this powerful message to a much wider audience, as they are getting their own television show.

Called Secrets of The Curry Kitchen, the show will premiere on Food Network and discovery+ in the UK in May and over the course of 10 episodes viewers will be taken into the restaurant to learn about the most popular dishes on the menu and find out how Asma and her team of nine extraordinary women create them.

And for those keen to learn more about the food itself, Asma has also just released a brand new cookery book, titled Monsoon, which features a collection of 80 recipes inspired by her native home in Bengal.

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